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DEVOTIONAL

But He said, "The things which are impossible with men are possible with God." (Luke 18:27)

No matter how strong your faith, this is an impossible concept to grasp. The idea that you can just give it all to Him and just let all your problems go. Just let God take care of it. It seems so impossible for us to do to just pass them over to Him. I know it's hard for me to do.

This school started out kind of hard for me. One of best friends who I got extremely close with last year and lived 2 streets away from me (for those of you who don't know where I live, I live in a little city that goes to school with a big city and all my friends live in the big city and I'm not friends with too many people in my city) graduated last year. His friendship was really important to me and I really liked seeing him everyday at school, it was like some sort of security. My boyfriend who was also one of my best friends graduated last year. I know what you're probably thinking it's just your boyfriend and you have other friends right? Yes, that's true I do have other friends but I didn't really have any that could make me truly happy, beside those two, except for my best friend, Bethany, who lives 15 minutes away in Akron . Not having those 2 at my school with me made it really hard for me to even want to go to school, let alone even be in a good mood.

Now 2 years ago when I was a freshman, I got into a huge thing with a really good friend of mine that seemed to be a lot of my fault because I blew the whole thing out of proportion. I also had a huge crush on him and when we got into our big ordeal, I thought it was because he found out I liked him, freaked out, and didn't want to be around me anymore. This wasn't the case at all but, me being me, I blew it completely out proportion and kept going on thinking it was all because of that. I felt sorry for myself and started falling into a depression. I got horrible grades, I was constantly blowing up at my family and friends, I mean after all it was everyone else's fault, not mine! I started listening to nasty, suicidal music and just started throwing my life away. I even blamed God for it all. I mean after all how could He do this to me, make me feel this pain!

One day in January, January 31st to be exact, I talked to my friend for the first time in 4 months. This was also the first day of Hiram's midwinter. I was pretty excited to see my friend, Theo, that I hadn't seen in awhile and maybe even meet a couple boys. I wasn't concerned about the fact I was there to worship God for a weekend it was just a weekend with camp people. Well that weekend, was the weekend I met my soon to be boyfriend. We found out we went to the same schools and stayed in contact even after that weekend. He helped bring me out of this minor depression and through him I realized that God sent him to me to help me get better. This fact got confirmed when we started dating at camp. I knew God was taking care of me he just had to let me see that I needed to trust him and not worry about why I was hurting.

Going back to what I said earlier about my friend and boyfriend graduating. Well, last year I was able to stay away from that depression by holding onto them. I didn't have to hold in my feelings anymore or even my faith. They understand my faith and they believed too. They helped me through rough times so when this year came, I knew I wouldn't have them there as much. I started falling back into that old depression. It was different this time though, even though there were times I wanted to break out my nasty music, I decided to turn on my Christian music or turn the radio to The Fish. I started praying a lot more, when I was at school, in the car, on the phone with my boyfriend, anytime I was feeling a little down. The depression that was starting to form, started fading. I wasn't turning to loud, obnoxious, mean things, but the exact opposite, God. I let him help me show me where to turn and how to feel better. I gave him my problems.

The song "Shine Your Light" by Robbie Robertson plays at the end of Ladder 49, I thought the chorus of it kind of fit this devotion.

"Shine your light down on me

Lift me up so I can see

Shine your light when you're gone

Give me the strength to carry on"

Prayer: God, I know it can be hard sometimes to give you all of our problems, but help us to realize that you want to help us and you want us to feel better. Help us to realize that there is another way besides depressing music, or shutting people out. Help us realize we can turn to you no matter how big or small our problem. Amen.

-Stephanie Madden

Hiram Conference

C.Y.F. District Advisors